Are you one of the millions of people who wonder where you came from?

Written by:  Jennifer Schweibinz

If you were adopted, you may want to know who your biological parents are. Or maybe you were raised by a parent and you got the surprise news that you two are not actually related. Or you are a donor-conceived child, curious about who may have been generous enough to help give you life with no strings attached? All of these circumstances can lead to questions that are hard to ask and even harder to identify answers to.  We get it. But did you know you are not as alone as you feel? Author Leanne R Hay states that by 2022, ten to fifteen percent (14 to 21 million people) of consumer DNA testers will discover they are an NPE (Not Parent Expected). The Adoption Network states that 2% (1.5 million people) of the American population is adopted. Your feelings are valid and they have been felt by so many others.

Now you’re searching for things like “how to identify birth father” or “identify my birth mom for free” for a reason, and it’s probably one that’s shrouded in secrecy. Maybe there is pain, loneliness, or indifference. Surely, there’s some curiosity. Hopefully there’s hope.

As you look at the question in front of you, the possible answers seem limitless. You notice the man you pass on the street that has the same color eyes as you, and you wonder… Could that be my dad?  Does he know that I exist? The woman sitting at a restaurant with her young daughter, laughing as they complete the word search on the back of the menu… is that mom? Is she my sister?  It feels paralyzing. You know trained people can help you identify answers, but you also know that the cost will hurt almost anyone’s pocket.

Let’s go over some steps you can take to help you get the answers we believe every human is entitled to. First thing’s first; take a DNA test. There are many options, but Ancestry.com has the most extensive database by far. We highly recommend starting there. A few weeks after your saliva sample is received, you will be notified that your results are in. Check your matches! You may have a half-sibling, aunt, uncle, or even better… a mother or father match. Your answer could appear right in front of your eyes.

If it doesn’t, that just means you have to dig a bit deeper. We know the information is confusing, especially if you are adopted. You don’t know who belongs to which side of your family, and you can’t make heads or tails of the matches. Don’t let your hope crash back to hopelessness.

DNAngels, a non-profit organization founded in 2019, has a team of committed volunteer Search Angels, trained in a precise and systematic approach. Eager to take on parental searches, they have solved over 2,400 cases for people just like you. In fact, many of the DNAngels Search Angels have been in your shoes. They also know that not all searches lead to warm and fuzzy news, so they created a safe community consisting of people in similar circumstances that can help support you through the roller coaster of emotions.

DNAngels has a warm and welcoming screening process. You should note, one of their requirements is that you must have tested with Ancestry.com.  If your case is accepted, they will explain a little about what will happen behind the scenes, roll up their sleeves, and get to work. They will not charge you for their time or efforts to identify your biological parent. Most clients pay it forward by offering a donation after their case is solved. Donations to DNAngels are funneled right back into the organization, supporting their mission to identify answers for adoptees, donor conceived, and NPEs.